Real Genius
Tuesday, August 26, 2003
Perhaps I should've never started this. I knew I'd have trouble posting regularly, but such an immense gap between the posts? I'm going to blame it on the really elevated intensity of my work and the breathtaking rhythm my social life has gained recently.

Am I happy with all this intensity?

At work, yes. I'm one of those people who do better and feel more comfortable under more pressure --think Jon Anderson's voice and George Carlin's infatuation with chaos. And luckily, the "pressure" is from very interesting research topics.

Socially? Maybe not as much. I am doing enjoyable things for the most part with a brilliant group of people, but I am missing those long Saturdays or Sundays that I would have all to myself. I seem to have lost almost all of my "creative" time. Even when I didn't feel like writing or painting, I used to have long drives, and when one does not have anything to do but drive, the mind becomes surprisingly liberated. Those drives used to be my hours and hours of thinking, just about anything, from perhaps-never-to-be-delivered campaign speeches to conference presentations, from last words never uttered to an old lover to songs sung to a nonexisting new one.

Maybe it's good that I cannot have time alone, because it wouldn't be creative anyway. You see, I cannot really function well and creatively in hot and humid weather. And everyone knows how the past several weekends have been in the DC Metro area. Therefore even if I had spent these weekends alone, they probably wouldn't have been as pleasant as they would have had the weather been more lenient.

Which brings me to the title of this post.

I don't know whether it will really last, and it's been a long time since I stopped following the weather closely too, but yesterday morning I really felt like the fall has arrived.

It was the breathable crispness of the air that got me the most. Then perhaps my longing for the colors of the fall and hours spent driving or guarding coffeehouse corners or walking.

I hope to be proven wrong; I don't think I can handle the emotional intensity the fall seems to push me into yet.

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